Friday, August 29, 2008

Weird Panic Attack

I had a panic attack while driving.  I have had them before while driving but this one was different.  Afterwards I was past the turn that I had needed to take and was all confused about how I got to where I was.  I still can't figure out how I got to the place that I was.  So basically I was driving without a clue.  Luckily I was OK and not too far off course so I just turned around and came home which was my destination anyway. 
I can tell anybody what causes the attacks because I don't know.  Sometimes it's just a feeling or pattern that happens like a deja-vu thing or just the feeling of the pattern or shape.  It's not like I'm terrified of something and it happens.  Too much xanax causes me to be tired.  I'm afraid that if I don't have a panic attack that everything will explode into a major depression like before.  I feel like it's a release valve to keep my emotions in check somewhat.  So as much as I hate them, I'm also afraid of not having any ever again.   I couldn't stand the downward pull of a major depression again.  I've had too many of those to want to live that way.  It's not fair to the people around me.




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2 comments:

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